Sunday, February 04, 2018

Pies and Dyes

I made a key lime pie, except I didn't use key lime juice- just regular lime juice! I guess it was a lime pie then. WHAT EVER. I made it because these pie crusts were on sale!
Super easy recipe, 4 egg yolks and sweetened condensed milk and the crust. I made whipped cream from some heavy whipping cream and it was delicious! 

I forgot to take a picture of the finished product-but I must confess my egg white crime. What do you do with the leftover egg whites? (put it in the comments!) I should have cooked them for a snack or something...but I assumed I could just pour them down the drain!  But did you know that eggs cook with hot water? (I'm sure you ALL DO!)  It never crossed my mind! As I turned on the hot water on to "wash them down the drain" all of a sudden I had COOKED the eggs in the sink and the drain plugged up- it was so crazy. I don't know why I didn't think of it before, but lesson learned. :) (Don't panic, I was able to clean the drain thing out, so major crises averted) 

In other news, I tried to dye my own roots today.

If you don't know, I don't like going to the salon. I love my hairdresser Angie, the owner of Rockabetty's Salon and Spa, but I hate sitting in the chair! I always feel like I have better things to do. So I decided to try doing my roots myself. As you can see in the picture I'm really excited about it! 

In general, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, but I definitely did not get "all over coverage." I assume this is due to user error and has nothing to do with the product :) That said, it certainly looks better than before! Just pretend you're seeing highlights!

In cuteness news, two recent pics of Lil' Squirrel:

See you on the flip side,
Ms. Non-Sequitur

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Poop Cookies

If you recall, I am the mastermind behind a special dish called the Shit Pie (It was chocolate of course) Well, this time I have accidentally created these amazing Poop Cookies!!

I saw this recipe on facebook that was for cookies made of only 5 ingredients!! Perfect for a mom on the run! You make them with crushed up candy canes and a box of cake mix! I had such high hopes...but but whoa...

The cake mix made them super mushy, and it rolled off the pan as I removed them with the spatula. As you can tell, their name really fits!!!

The other dumb thing was that I didn't use spray on the pan cause my logic was... "there's oil in the cookies."   I mean, when I make chocolate chip cookies with all that butter, they come off just fine!

Look at the pan!!

So that sucked, MMD cleaned it for me, which was nice of him..

The second batch seemed to go a little better. Here is a picture of both batches.


But the dough was so gross after sitting there. I dumped this glob in the garbage and did not do a 3rd batch!

I still ate a bunch of them, but as soon as the Newman's O's appeared (have you had them??! They are WAY BETTER THAN OREOS! They blew my mind) any leftovers went into the garbage!

The miracle of the evening was that Lil' Squirrel kept himself busy enough that I was able to make them in the first place!!  This picture is care of Wendell and wasn't taken the day of the cookie making. I just love his outfit. He also gets an extra large picture!

Being a mom is way harder than I thought. But he is pretty amazing and I look forward to all our adventures.

Hugs and Bugs,
Ms. Non-Sequitur

Thursday, January 04, 2018

A New Beginning

So, I made a human:

Basically the coolest thing I ever made. MMD (in case you forgot, MMD stand for Mike My Darling- my awesome husband) also had a hand in the process. :) For blog purposes, I shall refer to my boy as "Squirrel" or "Lil' Squirrel" :)  Mostly because he makes these little squeaking noises when he is breast feeding. (Bummer, I just found video footage of an actual squirrel HERE and it doesn't actually sound like him... alas the damage has been done!) 

Anyway, I've been making gingerbread muffins in my mind since I got back from the hospital. I'm not sure why. They spoke to me. So today I finally had the energy to make them! The above picture of Squirrel was taken at the beginning of the baking. At this point, he is a ticking time bomb who could wake up and like...cry :)  So I felt like I was living dangerously and had to get this shit done FAST! 

Here's a photo of the bowls. Look carefully at the whisk! Notice the hanging metal! Don't worry, it didn't slow me down! 

I ran back into the living room and this is what I saw:

Whew, still in the clear!

I put my muffins in the oven:

I put all the ingredients away, washed the dishes, and ended up with these beauties! 

I'm happy to say they turned out really good!! If I were to make them again, I'd add more seasoning, because they were pretty mild, but that's okay. And MUCH better than disaster pumpkin bars. 

See the part in middle of this picture that has been cut out? It's because it was RAW. I didn't even notice until I was halfway done frosting!! I mean, the toothpick came out clean because the pumpkin mixture was SO WET. Whatever, that's in the past. Let's stay in the present and the future! 

Ms. Non-Sequitur

Tuesday, November 07, 2017

Pumpkin Bars

Good Lord. That was the worst. I had a little hankering for some pumpkin bars....well, I was going to make bread, but then I decided on bars...I was feeling all confident, it was a pretty easy recipe, etc etc etc

The recipe said too cook them for 30 min, which, in hindsight does seem kind of short. But around 30 minutes, I check them with a toothpick and nothing comes I figure I'm golden. And I need to get them out anyway so they can cool for the canned frosting....

I take them out, and the middle does look weird, I mean, it definitely looks kind of not done, but I don't actually check again and just assume, oh, maybe the top is a little soft. I mean I watch ALL those British Baking shows, I'm on season 3, I should know better!! Sheesh

Anyway, I come back from a walk with my darling dog and I start putting on the frosting and no SHIT the whole center is pumpkin pudding!!! I start scooping out the middle....which when I finished looked like this:

Upon my reflection, I'm guessing nothing came off on the toothpick because they WERE STILL COMPLETELY RAW/WET!  Anyway, I'm still going to eat the outside. It's pretty good and I hate to let it go to waste!!!

In other news, since I'm having this baby soon, look for new and exciting blog posts here! I can only expect more hilarious domestic disasters! :)

Ms. Non-Sequtur

Monday, August 21, 2017

Corn Competition

Recently MD and I went camping with Wendell and her Hublet, R! We had a blast. 
and here is Heidi and I in the canoe! 

The best part of the trip was when Wendell and I decided to grill organic corn on the cob for breakfast! Oh, we were so smart! We half shucked it to pull out the hairs, then re-shucked it? I guess?to put it on the campfire grill. I will spare you all the details, but the corn did NOT taste good? Now, do we blame the grillers?? or the CORN!!! 

On the way home from camping, MD and I stopped at a farm stand. I proceeded to buy sweet corn- 6 ears for $3.00 so I could compare it with the organic corn from the co-op that cost $1.29 an EAR!!!

As shown here:

My plan was to do a taste test competition when we got home learn the truth of the crappy corn grillin' that took place while camping! 

To tell the difference, I broke the organic corn in half which was pointless because you could tell them apart from their coloring. The organic was all yellow and the farm stand sweet corn was dappled yellow and white!

Since it was Monday night, this was one of my easiest dinners ever! Basically I boiled the water, and then got some assistance from my darling as we put the corn in for like 5 minutes (because I never boiled corn before!!) I did throw together a quick tomato-cheese-basil salad. So, that was something. 

We both tried the organic first, but upon the first bite of the roadside corn, MD proclaimed, "Oh my god, this isn't even a competition!" The farm stand sweet corn was SO MUCH BETTER than the organic corn, taste-wise, that we were both blown away!!! 

Here I am holding up the clear winner! The Farmers roadside corn was WAY better than the organic corn! 

So, lesson learned. Wendell and I are NOT bad grillers, we just had bad corn. :)  (and okay okay, I've already had the discussions about how the roadside corn was fresher and blah blah, but STILL I know a winner when I eat one!) 

The end. 
Ms. Non-seqitur

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Lentil Blobs

Yesterday I attempted to make these:
Otherwise known as Vegetarian Meatballs, or simply, Veggie Balls.
However, as the title of this blog suggests, I would prefer to call them Lentil Blobs.

The recipe says 2 1/2 hours. F that. If I had done everything I was supposed to do, it would have taken me 4 hours. Anyway, here's some stuff about how the cooking went.

1. My first problem was that I assumed you were supposed to cook the lentils until they get a little mushy, like I do when I make Indian dahl. So they looked like this:
Later I read that it was supposed to be like 25-30 minutes and they were not supposed to be mushy.

2. I made the mirepoix like I was supposed to:
It looks pretty good. The problem now with the recipe is that you're supposed to let everything COOL for like 25 minutes before you mix it.

3. I went out to cut the fresh herbs from the garden, here is a bad picture of the garden. There were  a million mosquitos up my ass, so there was no time for pleasantries.

4. 5. and 6. I can't remember exactly, but there was another moment in the recipe where you are supposed to wait 25 minutes for cooling/refridgerating before you mix everything together (you can read it in the recipe)

I didn't let shit cool enough because all the cutting and mixing or I don't even know what took so long. BUT I had to get dinner done for 7:30 (ended up being 7:45) cause that's when I told MD to be home. He pulled in at 7:40. Hold on, I'm ahead of myself.

Back to the veggie mixture, I was smart of enough to add the cheese and eggs last because I knew the heat would affect them the most, but, I know it was still too warm and that's probably why they didn't firm up right.

Anyway, I form the floppy "balls" and put them on a baking sheet. I was supposed to cover them in olive oil or something (I'm assuming so they didn't dry out.) But I had forgotten to buy olive oil, so they dried out.

Blah blah, the result was this:

On the plate it looked like this with a side "salad" (lettuce) I also made this dipping sauce as shown, but I cut the dill too big, which wasn't THAT big of a deal. Except it got stuck in my teeth.

MD was sweet and ate all his balls and even one of mine. With the leftovers, I plan on adding a shit ton of cumin, turmeric and other indian spices and making like a stir fry to put over rice or in a tortilla or something. Worse that them not being shaped like balls, was that they were just really bland, even though I had all these herbs and nuts and parsley and extra garlic etc etc etc. and I don't think I added the proper about of salt! So, whatever. It was kind of fun to try something new...even if it was a slight tragedy :)

Here's a picture of Heidi and a buddy at the park!

Ms. Non-Sequitur

Thursday, June 08, 2017

Domestic Nemesis VS The King Size Duvet Cover

We bought a new king size bed because our other bed was a queen and My Darling and I didn't to have enough room! We bought a Tuft and Needle. It comes in a box and inflates. Kind of weird- but is feeling good so far. Anyway, because of the new bed, MD wanted to paint the room, re-decorate, get new bedding and curtains. I picked out the bedding and curtains. He did basically everything else :) (although I did have to hem the curtains, and that turned out....acceptable)

Anyway, back to the duvet. I actually love it, it has these simple ruffles and I also love my new comforter, it's wool instead of down, but that has nothing to do with the current situation.

So before with duvet covers I've had a double bed and well, that means a normal sized blanket. I could get it in the corners and like shake it out and all was well. But a KING SIZE WOOL BLANKET IS REALLY HEAVY. I can't even lift it. Now the comforter isn't as heavy, but it's REALLY BIG.

So I start with my usual method and I can tell it's not going to work. I'm crawling inSIDE the duvet trying to straighten the corners, etc etc. That's dumb because I'm on top of the blanket and can't move it or lift it to shake. But, while I was exploring around in there I found these ties inside the cover- but the blanket doesn't have any loops to tie the ties too. Anyway, I'm mad and screaming so I decide to watch a youtube tutorial of this Russian Hacker :)

And well, okay roll it up like a sausage.... so I try his thing and take everything apart and lay it inside out, put the blanket on top blah blah match it up, blah blah. But again, the KING SIZE of everything makes this mission impossible. My sausage isn't rolling right because I'm trying to do it on top of the bed instead of on the floor and so the blanket is falling out the end and my sausage is exploding.

Finally I decide to take all apart one more time and I decide to try to pinning the corners with safety pins- even though I know the pins won't be big or strong enough- but I'm like whatever. I pin in all up, get MD to come in and shake it down and it kind of gets in there. But I still think the whole thing sucks and I know once we sleep tonight it's going to get all lumpy. If you have any ideas or suggestions, please put them in the comments!

Thank you for allowing me this venting time.
In good news. Today was the last day of school! Tomorrow is a work day, but that's easy! :)

Yours Truly,
The Domestic Nemesis aka Ms. Non-Sequitur