Domestic Nemesis

  I'm BAAAACK. Let's get right into it! To make a dumb story long- to make a long story dumb? A few weeks ago I saw this cookie magazine at Woodmans and I was like I. Want. that. Then I saw it cost $12.99. No.  I also know cookie recipes are onLINE, but boring. There's just something fun about looking at beautiful cookie pictures! Anyway, I went home, searched the library and put 2 Christmas cookie books on hold. A week later I got my books and what a disappointment. Boo. No good recipes in either of them. TODAY I'm at the grocery store and there she is, Taste of Home Holiday Cookies and Baking!!! And I was right, within the 1st 5 pages, there were 4 cookies that looked amazing. Even MORE amazing was page 15 where I found the cranberry orange cookies- cause I had cranberries in the fridge and randomly bought an orange at the store today! It was destiny! I also found a recipe for pumpkin muffins.  Let's jump right in shall we.   Cranberry Orange Cookies.  Th...

Presenting: The saltiest Devil'd Eggs EVER! Here's how to make them: 1. Get this book from St. Vinnies.  2. Pick out a recipe that I have the ingredients for.   It said to use 6 eggs, since I don't follow recipes, I only made 4.  Knowing it would cause problems later.  3. Boil your eggs and don't wait until the rolling boil. I was only off by a minute and only 1 was a little soft, so...not the worst crime 4. Make the filling and sort of guess all the amounts because there are less eggs.  5. Use too much salt by grabbing the wrong measuring device and guessing wrong and the "lesser" amount. 6. Add Cayenne. Just always add cayenne. 7. Do like the recipe says and add the olives even though,  you tasted the filling and it's clearly too salty. 8. Eat all the salty eggs anyway, because, you can just drink some water after to balance it out.  But As Giannis says....I'm really just like Michael Jordan.... “Michael Jordan played 15 years, won 6 championshi...

are going in my mouth right now. The larger problem is that I'm getting old. My tooth has become sensitive because of an alleged "receding gum line."  Bullshit.  Anyway, I had this whole hilarious post planned out about 3 weeks ago and now I forgot everything.  So Big Lil' Squirrel and I went to the strawberry patch where they had some crazy strawberries that weren't ripe but they said. "If the tips are red they are ripe, you can taste test them" and I'm like what? "You can taste them!" Okay Mr.,  I'll try your WHITE Canada strawberries that don't get ripe. Squirrel gave up picking pretty fast and so did I so we made a dessert.   First, my assistant cut the strawberries.  Second, something funny happened that I can't remember, but here is a video.  He said, "When can I mix?" and I said, "Never" in case you were wondering.  Finally, here is the finished dessert.  Squirrel didn't try it.  Which was okay bec...

I didn't wear a bra to the dog park today. It was awesome. I also made a blueberry tart!! It's been 6 month since I last posted. There are some good vibes going around tonight. Lil' Squirrel had a mega tantrum 'cause his ice cream was on a plate instead of in a bowl. I was pairing it with this blueberry tart and I knew if I put the 2 items together, they would touch- so I thought sure a plate was the answer. No. But then, A MIRACLE he cried so hard over the ice cream, he passed out at 7:30 and is sound asleep!! The Tart. I used  this recipe . Heidi just farted. The dog. (that's an inside joke for my friend, Sally, I hope you are reading this!)   The directions said, "Prep Time 10 Minutes" I said, yeah right.  My guess is 30 minutes.   Here is my start time: I took that picture of the clock and then Lil' Squirrel's computer ran out of battery. I plugged it in and then went out to get the mail. Because that's my favorite part of the day.  I found...

Snow day today! I should be more chipper! But, I have a headache. That's boring. I made "BIG SOFT CHEWY" ginger cookies in an attempt to make something. Lil Squirrel really liked gingerbread cookies, but they are hard. I thought I'd give these a try.  Here is me eating a cookie.  That smile is real nice. Maybe I should take a shower. They are pretty good, truly big, soft and chewy. I can't decide if I'm eating raw dough or not. I guess you don't worry about that when your cookies are like this.  I've also started a quilt! What do you think of the squares?  Well, only tell me if you like them because I've already started and I can't change anything now! Nap Time!  Ms. Non-Sequitur

OKAY Folks, time to review soup #2,  Zuppa Toscana in my I MADE THE SOUP series.  First, we shall inspect this screen shot. "Prep: 15 minutes" that is complete bullshit.  This is a picture of some ingredients The bacon. Me burning my fingers cutting the bacon that I was supposed to cut before I cooked it.  This picture is boring. I ran out of this broth stuff, but my super husband had a back-up in the pantry.  The soup before the cream! And the family review AND NOW MY REVIEW. Well, this soup was really good. But, it was pain to do the kale and to cut the potatoes even though I shorted both..5 cups of kale (I was supposed to do 6 and 5 potatoes, also supposed to be 6.) What else, I added extra red pepper cause I thought it would be fun, but it was almost too hot.  I had some other complaints, but luckily I've forgotten them by now because the SOUP WAS SO GOOD. SCORE EASY:  like a 5.  Clocking in at an hour and 15 minutes, it took too long for me...

I asked facebook for EASY and TASTY soup recipes and wow, did my people come through!  Welcome to my my new  "I MADE THE SOUP!" series!   I will score the soups from 1-10 on how Easy and Tasty they are and then rank them.  #1  K's Lentil Soup Recipe . This first one is hard because I have nothing to compare it with. I guess I could compare it with Grandma's Chili- because it's pretty much the only soup I've made in the last 5 years-actually I don't think I've made it in the last 5 years because MMD cooks the chili.  Anyway...brown the meat, cut the veggies... add the spices...probably noodles....Okay, Grandma's Chili:      Easy: 7 and Tasty 6.  K's Lentil Soup: Easy 6  (time factors heavily on this score, also, there wasn't much chopping but there were two pans and the whole immersion blender thing and adding toppings....doing everything in order etc etc.) Tasty 8 (the lemon gave it a nice zing...the dish really came together...

Hi! Trump still thinks he's president, I don't.  I'm crocheting Lil Squirrel a HUGE christmas stocking. I had a picture of the heel that I just pulled out and re-did, but it's too boring to show you. If someone REALLY wants to see it, let me know in the comments.  Inshallah, I'll finish the stocking before Christmas. M and I have been having Friday happy hours where I make Happy Hour Trays for just the 2 of us. I decided it doesn't matter if there is too much food. There's really nothing else to do but eat anyway. I mentioned this on fb, but we are also playing Yatzee. The game sits there on the counter and you can take a turn as you pass by. Highly recommended. You can get the Yatzee sheet HERE . You'll have to figure out the dice on your own! Finally, we made an apple thing. He made the crust and I did the apples.  There were too many apples so I put some oatmeal, butter and sugar in a bowl and mixed it with my hands and put it over the apples. I wish ...

  Intro video Today I looked at the scale and confirmed I officially gained 10 pounds of the expected covid 19.  Could be worse. I mean, if you haven't gained weight then you're an as...JUST KIDDING. It would be amazing if you didn't gain weight though because that would mean you somehow kept up your routines or weren't drinking, etc. SO Today I worked out. I'm not proclaiming that it will happen again. But here's my routine if you want to try it. 1st I put on my running (walking) shoes and then set off down the road. About 1/10 into my mile I felt the heal pain. It's familiar. It's probably the 3rd time I've tried to wear these tennis shoes but they always give me a blister. I thought I could defy reality this time, but no. I'm mad because they are basically new- but they don't work and I have to get another pair. SO whatever, I walked home and took my shoes off and did a HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) routine that I got from a book...

Unlike people who make a million masks, I've made about 10. Since March.  I watch videos and try different patterns, blah blah. Mostly I just stare at the sewing machine.  Here are 3 different masks I successfully made.  (The one on the bottom left is my own design!! I mean sort of, I used the regular square pattern but put specialized darts to fit my face, instead of three folds on each side!)    So today I was trying a new pattern- and this is so boring- I was going to make the t-shirt straps because I haven't tried that yet. BUT I had this too-fat elastic because they didn't have 1/8 or 3/8s or whatever the smaller one is at the store because they ran out. W ith this wider elastic, I was going to make straps that go behind your head instead of your ears.  I did not look at a pattern or video because I thought I was smart enough to figure it out- and perhaps accidentally do the right thing!! I was wrong. DUH, you have to sew the elastic to left AND the ri...

 Well, here I am again, post #2 in a week! How exciting! #1 I made bean pancakes for Lil Squirrel! Clearly that looks like a pancake!   I did everything right... Put the stuff in the mixer Mixed it! Drank wine Cooked it*!  *Fake news alert, this is the 2nd batch that went straight into the garbage. And I'll leave it right there. I'm never trying these bean pancakes again. I was trying to give my kid some protein, but believe it or not, it's the 2nd time I've made these and the 2nd time they ended up tasting and looking like crap.  #2 Salads can F--K OFF Yesterday I made a salad from this recipe . I didn't take a picture, but if you look at the recipe, you'll see a really nice picture. Luckily it turned out delicious, but what a pain in the ass!  The cool thing about it was that it used so many things from our garden! Here is a list of vegetables I used from the garden: mint, parsley, basil, tomatoes, cucumbers, garlic! Anyway, I knew my darling would like t...